dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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