Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
