But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
