you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
