i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
