so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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