I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
