I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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