So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
