so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
