sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
