I don't usually arrange sex via text message
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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