I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
