It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
