so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
