My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
