you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
