weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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