I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
