at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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