If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
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