Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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