Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
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