There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
now i know why i became what i already was.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
