i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
