You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
