i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
