will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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