happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
