ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
