Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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