I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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