Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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