I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
