he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
