did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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