I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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