I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
smell my finger.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
