i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I need a beard to bite.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
