You made me cry and you don't even care
On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
