i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
