and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
