I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
