Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
