is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
