Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
