if i died would you start the facebook group?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
