Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
