I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
