Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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