I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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