I hate all girls vehemently.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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