i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
where are you?
Hypothermia
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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